Ha, this is a funny story…well at least to me. My mother flat out asked me (on two occasions!) if I was a lesbian, and let me tell you how weird and gross it was to hear her say that word. (A little about my family: I was adopted so my adoptive mom is a white woman from Massachusetts, and my adoptive dad happens to be Chinese).
The first time she asked me was when my parents and I were in New York visiting old friends of theirs. I think I might have given myself away because I fell head over heels for the female friend of their friend’s daughter. I just couldn’t hide it I guess. My parents and I were having a quick lunch together before I boarded a bus back to DC where I was living, and it was in this deli, the stairwell of it to be exact, where my mother cornered me, stared me in the eyes, and said those scary words: “Cindy, all of your friends are lesbians. Are you a lesbian?”
My answer? “Don’t worry about it.”
The second time she asked me was around my 26th birthday. It was the morning after a rough night of partying with a new group of gay friends; mom, dad and I were talking about my plans for grad school when mother interjects, “Cindy, this friend you went out with, she’s a lesbian? Are you a lesbian?”
My answer? “Yes.”
Much of the rest of that day is a blur, but two moments I’ll never forget. The first was when my mom took me on her lap (I know, I was like 25, but it was a sweet moment) and told me she just wants me to be safe. The second was when my dad put his hand on my knee and said he just wants me to be happy.